1) Preamble:
What follows are a list of gender differences you ought to be aware of.
They are all driven by biology and genetics, not cultural training.
Gender is not just a social construct; behavioral and psychological differences between men and women exist due to different evolutionary pressures being put on male and female humans.
Men and women reproduce differently; all psychological differences between them are a secondary consequence of this fact.
2) Risk Tolerance:
Women are on average more risk averse than men.
The difference at the average is tiny; the average woman is only slightly more risk averse than the average man. However, this tiny difference at the average leads to immense differences at the extremes, and the extremes are what matter since the extremes are where all the action is.
Among the most risk averse people, almost all of them are women.
Among the most risk aggressive people, you will find that almost all of them are men. This explains why almost everyone who voluntarily becomes an entrepreneur or who takes a risky role in the financial industry is male.
Testosterone fuels willingness to take risks; men are more risk aggressive than women because they have more testosterone, and among men you will find that those with higher testosterone levels are more willing to take risks.
3) Neuroticism (Stress Tolerance):
Men average lower on neuroticism than women; the average man has a slightly higher stress tolerance than the average woman. Again, this tiny difference at the average leads to immense differences at the extremes, and the extremes are where all the action is.
Among the people who are extremely neurotic (very low stress tolerances), most of them are women.
Among the people who are extremely calm (very high stress tolerances), most of them are men.
Testosterone suppresses neuroticism, the specific biological mechanism being that testosterone suppresses the stress hormone cortisol. The reason men average lower on neuroticism than women is because they have more testosterone.
4) Agreeableness (Ruthlessness):
Men average lower on agreeableness than women. Yet again, the difference at the average is tiny but it leads to immense differences at the extremes.
At the extreme high end of agreeableness, almost all the people are women. This would explain why most people who voluntarily do charity work are women.
At the extreme low end of agreeableness, almost all the people are men. This would explain why most people who engage in violent crime are men.
5) Greater Male Variance, Intelligence:
Male variance is greater than female variance. This can be seen most consequentially with intelligence.
At the extreme high end of intelligence (IQs of 130+), most people are men.
At the extreme low end of intelligence (IQs of 70-), most people are men.
As a result of male IQ being more variable than female IQ, most people smart enough to become engineers are men, and most people dumb enough to become highschool dropouts are men.
6) Female Hypergamy, Male Ambition:
Women are hypergamous, and men are ambitious because they desire to appeal to female hypergamy.
Women being hypergamous means that they desire to mate up whatever dominance hierarchy they happen to be living in; they want to sleep with men who have as high status as possible, and at minimum who are higher status than themselves.
Men being ambitious means they desire to attain as high status as possible in whatever dominance hierarchy they happen to be living in.
Men evolved to be ambitious because all the men who were indifferent about attaining high status failed to put in the necessary effort to do so, and were therefore deemed unattractive by hypergamous women.
Unambitious men have been all but eliminated from the gene pool, because in our evolutionary past they failed to reproduce.
Many men are tortured by unsatiated ambition; their actual level of status is far beneath the level of status they desire.
Many women are tortured by unsatiated hypergamy; the man they are with is far inferior to the man they desire to be with.
Attaining high status in the macro dominance hierarchy makes a man more attractive to women, however it does not make a woman more attractive to men. Going from rags to riches dramatically increases a man’s attractiveness, but it does nothing for a woman’s attractiveness.
Indeed, as a woman’s status in the macro hierarchy increases her pool of viable suitors gets smaller; the higher her rank is, the fewer men there are who outrank her and who thereby appeal to her hypergamy.
Ironically if a woman goes from rags to riches her viable mating options become fewer in number, not greater.
7) Confidence, Attractive On Men Only:
Women consider men who are confident to be more attractive than men who are timid (more precisely, the lower a man ranks on neuroticism the more attractive women will consider him to be).
The reverse is not true. Men do not consider women who are confident to be more attractive than women who are timid.
A woman who is low status in the macro hierarchy and timid will be considered attractive by men, however, a man who is low status in the macro hierarchy and timid will not be considered attractive by women.
For men, attaining high status and being confident are basic requirements for success in the dating market. For women they are not.
8) Reproductive Success, More Variable Among Men:
Male reproductive success is more variable than female reproductive success.
A man is more likely to die having conceived many offspring than a woman, and a man is also more likely to die having conceived zero offspring than a woman.
The upper limit of how many offspring a human can conceive is greater for males than for females, for obvious reasons; having a child is easier for a man than for a woman. For a woman the cost of having a child is 9 months of her time, possibly a year. For a man the cost of having a child is 10-15 minutes of his time.
On the other hand, the probability of having zero offspring is greater for males than for females. It is far more likely for a man to die at a very young age before having the chance to conceive a child than it is for a woman to die at such a young age.
It is also far more likely for a man to fail to reproduce because there are no women who consider him attractive enough to sleep with, than it is for a woman to fail to reproduce because there are no men who consider her attractive enough to sleep with.
Women are more picky about their sexual partners than men are, and with good reason; sex is far more dangerous for a woman than it is for a man. In our evolutionary past, when a man consented to sex he was agreeing to sacrifice 10 15 minutes of his time. However, when a woman consented to sex she was agreeing to sacrificing the next year of her life (pregnancy and breastfeeding).
9) Relevant Reading:
Illimitable Men
The Rational Male (Rollo Tomassi)
Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps (Allan & Barbara Pease)